Glad to have stumbled upon this post! I can absolutely relate. I got rid of all my social media, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook 9 months ago. Several years back, I took a two year hiatus from Facebook. This time is different, though, because I permanently deleted my profile rather than letting Facebook talk me into keeping it dormant.
I quit because I didn't like what it was doing to me emotionally, spiritually, and cognitively. I quit because I was tired of participating in this stupid game of inauthentic identity construction. And I quit because in almost every way, social media was more and more running against my values and mores and I was tired of participating.
And it has been so freeing. I have a greater attention span and I've actually gotten a move on several things I've long wanted to do, buy never did because of the time-suck of social media, such as starting a vegetable garden. I will always recommend quitting
This is amazing Zach, I’m happy to hear that quitting has been a positive change for you! I hate how social media apps like Facebook trick folks into “fake” quits like deactivating your account and making the actual deletion process a little tedious and confusing.
Good for you, Kimi! We're from two different generations. I'm an older GenX (nearly 58yo), so that informs my relationship with social media. I've never been on X or IG. I was on Facebook back in the early days of the platform, but around 10 years ago I decided to deactivate my account. I'm so glad I did. It was before all the contemporary BS, but it was leaning in that direction and I had no interest in playing along.
Wow, I’m glad you exited that while back! The online wars of the past decade have completely consumed how the younger folks identify, so you escaped from the most toxic era.
Happy to have come across your post here Kimi! I recently took my kids to watch one of the Coddling of the American Mind screenings and we greatly appreciated how you shared your experience.
Stories like yours, that model how young people are making different choices, offer valuable inspiration.
My husband Peco and I have been writing on navigating life in the digital age. Our work has focused on three distinct areas (we refer to it as the 3Rs of Unmachining): recognizing the myriad of negative impacts of digital tech (on child development, individuals, families, etc.); removing unhealthy tech use from our daily lives through a combination of digital fasting and restructuring our habits and environment; and returning to relationships and activities based in reality.
Throughout our interactions with our readership we noted that in addition to practical advice, people are in search of inspiring personal accounts that model a different relationship with technology. As such we are planning a post calling for submissions of stories (500-1500 words) that offer insight into how some young people choose to live life differently in a digital age. We will curate a collection of these stories that readers can freely access to gain encouragement for change and inspiration to apply to their own unique circumstances.
I love that you’re talking about this! A couple of random questions: 1. How do you reconcile the notion of self-love with the biblical message to deny oneself, lay one’s life down for others, and to count others more significant than yourself? 2. What exactly do you mean by working on a cleanliness/hygiene routine? Do you mean like taking a shower and brushing your teeth?
Hey Kimberly! The self-love thing is something I’ve struggled with my entire life as a Christian--especially with regards to the self-denial aspects you mentioned. I used to think that that meant self neglect. But Jordan Peterson put it brilliantly when he said treat your self like someone you care for. Like I always feel awful when I see people work for long stretches of time without rest days, or sleeping 3 hours a night and shrugging it off, yet when I do those things it’s acceptable? I think it’s more of giving the level of care you have for others back to yourself.
And yes, hygiene/cleanliness routine is exactly that but maybe more than just that--it’s being more attentive to what is working and what needs improvement, rather than just going through the motions. Paying attention to ingredients, scents, harmful irritants, as well as processes, levels of effectiveness, organization, etc. 😂 They are examples though, and not the only things that transform. It’s also in alignment with another Jordan Peterson idea, which is cleaning your room, from 12 rules for life. It’s that ability to be self aware AND responsible, AND being a good steward of “you” that I’m generally referring to. Do these answer your questions?
Yes, thank you for the clarification. I agree that the Christian concept of self-denial doesn’t mean self-neglect. At the heart of self-denial is, I believe, a life oriented to service, and we have the example of Jesus who came not to be served, but to serve. He also took time to be alone and pray, retreat from the crowds, rest, and observe the sabbath. Have you ever read Tim Keller’s book on self-forgetfulness? I’m not sure who said this (maybe Lewis?), but it’s one of my favorite quotes: “Humility is not thinking less of oneself but thinking of oneself less.” I also just ordered a book called “Free from Me” but I haven’t read it yet. I know I’ll never come close to achieving this this side of Heaven, but I long to throw off the tyranny of self.
Oooh very great points you brought up! And thanks for the book recommendations. I haven’t read Tim Keller’s book, but I’d love to, as well as free from me! Also, have you heard of ‘Ruthless Elimination of Hurry’ by John Mark Comer? I haven’t read it but I’ve been meaning to for a long time. I think it has some ideas down this stream of thought.
Glad to have stumbled upon this post! I can absolutely relate. I got rid of all my social media, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook 9 months ago. Several years back, I took a two year hiatus from Facebook. This time is different, though, because I permanently deleted my profile rather than letting Facebook talk me into keeping it dormant.
I quit because I didn't like what it was doing to me emotionally, spiritually, and cognitively. I quit because I was tired of participating in this stupid game of inauthentic identity construction. And I quit because in almost every way, social media was more and more running against my values and mores and I was tired of participating.
And it has been so freeing. I have a greater attention span and I've actually gotten a move on several things I've long wanted to do, buy never did because of the time-suck of social media, such as starting a vegetable garden. I will always recommend quitting
This is amazing Zach, I’m happy to hear that quitting has been a positive change for you! I hate how social media apps like Facebook trick folks into “fake” quits like deactivating your account and making the actual deletion process a little tedious and confusing.
And congrats on the vegetable garden!
Good for you, Kimi! We're from two different generations. I'm an older GenX (nearly 58yo), so that informs my relationship with social media. I've never been on X or IG. I was on Facebook back in the early days of the platform, but around 10 years ago I decided to deactivate my account. I'm so glad I did. It was before all the contemporary BS, but it was leaning in that direction and I had no interest in playing along.
Wow, I’m glad you exited that while back! The online wars of the past decade have completely consumed how the younger folks identify, so you escaped from the most toxic era.
I know. It's so unfortunate how much negative impact social media has had.
lol.. every time I answer a poll.. “50/50”.. I swear I’m not doing it on purpose! 😂
Happy to have come across your post here Kimi! I recently took my kids to watch one of the Coddling of the American Mind screenings and we greatly appreciated how you shared your experience.
Stories like yours, that model how young people are making different choices, offer valuable inspiration.
My husband Peco and I have been writing on navigating life in the digital age. Our work has focused on three distinct areas (we refer to it as the 3Rs of Unmachining): recognizing the myriad of negative impacts of digital tech (on child development, individuals, families, etc.); removing unhealthy tech use from our daily lives through a combination of digital fasting and restructuring our habits and environment; and returning to relationships and activities based in reality.
Throughout our interactions with our readership we noted that in addition to practical advice, people are in search of inspiring personal accounts that model a different relationship with technology. As such we are planning a post calling for submissions of stories (500-1500 words) that offer insight into how some young people choose to live life differently in a digital age. We will curate a collection of these stories that readers can freely access to gain encouragement for change and inspiration to apply to their own unique circumstances.
This is awesome, all the best on your journey! And I love the term “unmachining”
Thanks :) You can read all about Unmachining here : https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/the-3rs-of-unmachining-guideposts?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
I love that you’re talking about this! A couple of random questions: 1. How do you reconcile the notion of self-love with the biblical message to deny oneself, lay one’s life down for others, and to count others more significant than yourself? 2. What exactly do you mean by working on a cleanliness/hygiene routine? Do you mean like taking a shower and brushing your teeth?
Hey Kimberly! The self-love thing is something I’ve struggled with my entire life as a Christian--especially with regards to the self-denial aspects you mentioned. I used to think that that meant self neglect. But Jordan Peterson put it brilliantly when he said treat your self like someone you care for. Like I always feel awful when I see people work for long stretches of time without rest days, or sleeping 3 hours a night and shrugging it off, yet when I do those things it’s acceptable? I think it’s more of giving the level of care you have for others back to yourself.
And yes, hygiene/cleanliness routine is exactly that but maybe more than just that--it’s being more attentive to what is working and what needs improvement, rather than just going through the motions. Paying attention to ingredients, scents, harmful irritants, as well as processes, levels of effectiveness, organization, etc. 😂 They are examples though, and not the only things that transform. It’s also in alignment with another Jordan Peterson idea, which is cleaning your room, from 12 rules for life. It’s that ability to be self aware AND responsible, AND being a good steward of “you” that I’m generally referring to. Do these answer your questions?
Yes, thank you for the clarification. I agree that the Christian concept of self-denial doesn’t mean self-neglect. At the heart of self-denial is, I believe, a life oriented to service, and we have the example of Jesus who came not to be served, but to serve. He also took time to be alone and pray, retreat from the crowds, rest, and observe the sabbath. Have you ever read Tim Keller’s book on self-forgetfulness? I’m not sure who said this (maybe Lewis?), but it’s one of my favorite quotes: “Humility is not thinking less of oneself but thinking of oneself less.” I also just ordered a book called “Free from Me” but I haven’t read it yet. I know I’ll never come close to achieving this this side of Heaven, but I long to throw off the tyranny of self.
Oooh very great points you brought up! And thanks for the book recommendations. I haven’t read Tim Keller’s book, but I’d love to, as well as free from me! Also, have you heard of ‘Ruthless Elimination of Hurry’ by John Mark Comer? I haven’t read it but I’ve been meaning to for a long time. I think it has some ideas down this stream of thought.
Yes I have read that book! Highly recommend. It’s a quick read, too. If you get around to reading it, come back and tell me what you think :-)
Ah, brilliant! I’ll definitely let you know!