This is the third part of a video series on life after quitting social media, in which I share the surprising effect The Big Quit had on the nature of my friendships. The first two parts which cover identity and politics are linked below:
For a long time, I hesitated to pull away from social media—I was afraid of isolating myself from acquaintances, friends, and family. That was until I met a colleague who didn’t have an Instagram account (shocking!) and was just as social as the next person. It gave me hope that I could also find (and keep) connection if I took the plunge.
I’m happy to report that, while it’s a lot of work to maintain meaningful relationships without Facebook, the payoff is as beneficial and necessary as blood to flesh. It’s an effort that yields an ethereal depth that’s hard to put into words—you have to taste it for yourself. After quitting social media, your sense of responsibility in relationship is painfully loud. You might feel burdened by shame and guilt over unhealthy relational patterns in the past, but this weight is an invitation to do something about those slip-ups, and practice better ways to ‘friend’.
I’m convinced that the structure of these social apps invert our sense of connection. The ease with which we initiate and maintain ties communicates a lie that friendship is supposed to be undemanding and effortless. While it’s convenient to send memes instead of sharing dinner, or heart posts instead of exchanging heartfelt, saliva-coated words, it weakens whatever psychological muscle we as humans need to foster deep and loving friendships. And “we need each other, ‘cause no one’s meant to be alone.”
I highly recommend reading this piece by
for an in-depth look at loneliness, friendships, and social media:
As always, let me know your thoughts, questions, and conundrums in the comments below.
How Friendships Transform After Quitting Social Media